Monday, 16 August 2010

Life is a bit broken

The last few days have been somewhat challenging in terms of my sense of order.

Firstly my laptop has packed in so in a bit I have to go to the Mac shop to get it sent off as it's the graphics card in it that has meant I have had a no usable screen.  It is also a pain in the arse as I have photo shop on that one and I have a little bit of editing to be doing. Still I shall find a workable solution for that soon enough.

My other annoyance is that my Blackberry doesn't seem to want to sync properly with my applications meaning that certain messages etc haven't been getting through to me.  But my main annoyance, right now is the fact that my left shoulder has decided to do something and I am in a lot pain right now.   I had it just before I went to Corsica, it got a little better but its back to being sore again.  It started on Saturday and last night it got worse.  I was up half the night and I feel a bit bad for disturbing E, although she wasn't pissed off with me I am sure she will find a way of exacting her own brand of 'revenge' (that will be gratifying for the both of us) at some point.

Just sitting very still and breathing really hurts and I can't move much.  I sneezed earlier too and that made shriek a little. This is very annoying and I wish I could chop my shoulder off and grow a new one.

I know this is a whingy blog to which I do apologise but right now I am in agony. Still I am booked in to  a sports massage place later this afternoon so hopefully that will help.  My Mum is also sorting out an appointment with a chiropractor where she is so everything will get sorted it's just a bit frustrating right now. I don't like feeling broken or having my eyes water just from putting on my shoes.  Still there are solutions happening I just have to wait for them.

There is only one thing worrying me a little and that is revealing that I bind.  But on the other hand the binder works a lot better than a bra in terms of offering support for the back and anyhow this is a medical situation so I have to just deal with it.  Mentally I will just be a man with breasts today, I don't really have a choice in that matter and that does bother me, but at the same time this needs sorting out and that takes priority. I will just have to suck it up in terms of how I choose to present myself. Biologically I am female and in situations like this there is nothing that can hide that.

The rest of my weekend was a delight though so thinking of that is really nice.  Saw friends on Saturday, then had a lovely brunch with a giant lady on Sunday, then I saw the film Gainsbourg which was FANTASTIC and I suggest that everyone goes to see it and also did nice things like walked around a lot with E and chilled.

I'm going away in a few days for the weekend and I hope my shoulder is much better by then as I want to go on walks and things like that.  Another thing this means is no gym and that does worry me a bit as I really feel I need to watch my weight at the moment and not being able to exercise is frustrating - still I have to concentrate on getting my shoulder and back working properly again so I can do simple things without it hurting and some sleep would be nice too.

Still it will change and it will be less painful soon I will moan less on that score too! Despite my complaints I am seeing the positive side of things and things will be better soon so that is what I am thinking of...bigger picture rather than just directly focussing on what is happening right now.

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