Mr Montgomery is in da house...

Following my meeting with Dr Curtis I was given a letter in which would enable me to apply for a new passport in new name and gender. I was elated to have that piece of paper and couldn't wait to fill out my application.

I got some mugshots taken and took my application to the very talented literary figure known to us as Lady V. I knew she would be kosher and was also glad to have someone that has been very supportive to me sign my passport. Since day one she has been nothing but supportive and lovely about me transitioning and she has also been a very lovely person to talk to when things have been difficult.

I did appreciate that she was halfway through resting that afternoon as well. Still she signed it, I sent it off and a week and a half later via the post office check and send service I now am Mr Montgomery officially.

OK, I know I have name change documents and bank cards and credit cards in my new name but so far I had nothing photo ID wise and now I do.  I can't believe how happy and complete I feel inside, having this in place.

I also made it one of my goals for 2011 and am pleased that 6 months in I have accomplished one of them.

As long as things move to where we want them to be then things seem to be making progress. I am starting to feel happier, as I am feeling clearer as to what it is I want and where I want to be. Knowing what my objectives are is a big help.

Life does have unexpected surprises that like to crop up from time to time. Also I have learned never to become complacent with whatever situation I am in as unfortunately things can change when you least expect it.  Relationships are something which need constant attention and to be nurtured otherwise they will suffer and in some cases they might drift apart.

Same applies with friendships.  It should never be taken for granted and like relationships they sometimes morph or change into different things, or just quieten down slightly.  I have been looking at a few changes to some friendships of late.  Especially when I look at photos taken last Summer and the Summer before. But that was that moment in time.  Things change. 

The people I have been in close contact with lately are really special to me and it has been lovely to spend time with them.  At the same time people I previously saw more of - there has been a little sorrow where that is concerned but at the same time life changes. I do remember the nice times had and I am sure there will be plenty to come but sometimes it boils down to proximity.

If it's not there it shouldn't be forced or pushed.

Aside this I also have some other goals in place.  Next Tuesday I am having some blood tests done so I can have a second appointment with Dr Curtis in order to start testosterone. I have said for a long long time that I don't want to take hormones, but I would like to try some.

I would be opting for a small dose just to see how it goes and am genuinely curious to see what effects it would have on me.  Also I feel I am missing something and perhaps a small dose of hormone is that? Because I don't know I want to take as small a dose as possible as I have researched and looked into what the side effects are. 

Gel was tempting but I wouldn't want any risk of it rubbing off on the wrong people so I think I will opt to try some shots just so I know there is no risk of anything untoward happening with it. I am not too worried about the thought of doing an injection but also know that there are a few people who have already offered to do my injection for me.

I also need to work on my voice and start finding ways to modulate that as my voice is a dead giveaway it seems.  If I call somewhere they straight away pronoun me to being female which is a problem sometimes so will find ways to make my voice sound deeper or more distinguishable as male.

It's nice to start thinking more about the physical sides of transition. Within this I need to continue exercising like a demon as I don't like my tummy very much when it's out of a binder so amongst the squash playing I think I shall also make sure I start doing some serious training to build up my muscles and get my stomach a bit leaner and more toned.

Again these are accomplishable goals if I work hard at them. Same applies to not smoking.  I haven't had a cigarette since last Saturday night and am trying to keep it that way. It isn't always easy and have had cravings but am finding other things to do other than try and smoke. 

Short term it has been thinking about food but I need to make sure I don't let that get the better of me either. I think I will try and channel it into as much physical exercise as possible or things that tone the body as that can be done anywhere and won't make me overweight.

I want some muscles and to be a ripped, lean flouncing machine!

I am sticking to my guns of taking things one step at a time as this so far is what is working for me.