Thursday, 23 September 2010

Gender Identity Disorder

That is now the title that is officially on my medical records as of today. I saw my new GP in order to start the process of getting a referral to go to Charing Cross to talk to one of the people there. Luckily he was very positive and had a very 'can-do' type of attitude which was massively reassuring.

He told me that I shall be the first person he has referred and seemed positive and happy to do so which I felt so happy inside. All of this feeling prepared to fight around some of the barriers I thought were in place weren't there. We'll see how proactive he is but he seemed very willing.

He also showed me on the computer for stuff to start regarding gender that there is a variety of labels.  Some included 'Childhood Gender Identity Disorder' 'Transexualism' as well as Gender Identity Disorder.  He too added that he thought it wasn't very 21st Century and like me we both seemed equally intrigued by the weird and wonderful world of gender labels in place in terms of medical classifications.

It doesn't bother me to have this on my record, I don't exactly see it as a badge of honor but I am glad things have started moving and that he seemed to want to help.  He actually said that he will do everything he can to support me. Which meant a lot to me and I wasn't expecting that.

I had another medical matter too which he wanted to help with too.

My previous GP wasn't so good or even there a lot of the time which was a main reason I have been putting things off slightly.  Also if I am entirely honest I wanted to give things at least a year to be fully sure that I want to start changing my name and then completing the other processes in order to transition further.

Also I feel so surprised by today as in the past I have had a few doctors that haven't been so good.  I had one that you would have to have at least three appointments with showing the same symptoms before he would do anything. He also seemed to like making you feel as if you were a hypochondriac too.  Which I must add I think I am far from.  I'm rarely ill, and I only ever see a doctor if I absolutely need to as for the most part if I can get something over the counter I will. In about three years I think I have been to the doctor about 6 times to put it into context. 

I feel ready to embark on stage two. I am aware that because I don't want to take T that this might not be easy but at the same time I do know of others who aren't taking T, so I know it's possible but I also know it will involve a lot of things that tick the right boxes. These things are never as fluid as what identity we hold. But that's life.

I don't feel sad about it but just more determined to make sure I do everything I can to do this. Every path in life has it's requisite bumps and sometimes annoying shit to deal with but that is what being a grown up is all about.

I have started doing more reading around how to change my name and then the other processes involved as to getting things like bank cards and information changed over, then there will be official documents too.  It's a lot of red tape but ultimately I know it will be worth it.

I can't wait to receive post that says 'Mr Montgomery' on it, as at present having 'Miss Leng' feels wrong.  I nearly returned some mail to sender the other day on account of it having 'Miss Leng across the front of it and then I reminded myself that I am of that name in terms of the law.

Still I'll get there, one snail mail paper chase at a time...

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