Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Half-Full

I have had a really interesting and exciting week since I last blogged.  I went to Iceland over the weekend and had a truly exhilarating time. There is no place like this that I have ever been to.

At times it was like being on the moon, or even another planet. Especially with a few sulphuric wafts that came our way from time to time. I also faced a fear and that is male locker room and showers.

One of Iceland’s top attractions is The Blue Lagoon and it is a must-see place. I did become anxious before going there because I did have a binder vest prepared but the thought of being in a changing room whereby you have to shower and where the men that were there were all topless did fill me with dread.

But on arriving at the Lagoon, you could hire bathrobes, so that was what I did.  Now I had my protector jacket I did skulk a bit in the changing room, changing in a toilet but did discover that there were some cubicles too as well, as with the showers there were some that were in cubicles.

I did at one point get a few odd looks for being in a vest but luckily a very tall man with a massive cock walked past me, and all attention went to that. It was massive (even though I haven’t seen that many close up) and I knew it wasn’t just me, as all the other men kept looking which for the most part men don’t do in these spaces, unless it’s a gay sauna I suppose.

So far from my experience in male spaces men hardly look at one another. If in the toilets they rarely make eye contact unless it’s a gay thing and then there seems to be a whole new different set of rules!

I was happy to face my fear, as I am determined that by this time next year I won’t have breasts any longer.  I can’t live with them anymore. As I have said numerous times, they are alien on me and don’t belong there.

I am happy with other aspects of my body (bar feeling a bit fat right now) but the breasts will be gone.  I have found a way to save for that surgery and I will be commencing that in 2012 as I had other things this year to pay off.

I am satisfied that I could do it myself and that whatever targets I set myself I have achieved.

There are some new goals that I am plotting out for next year and will see how fast I can get them done.

Amongst this and other feelings of late I am starting to feel a bit more positive in my outlook on life, which I am really relieved and happy about.

Yesterday I dealt with a bit of a prescription cock-up but learned that it’s best to not put trust in a third party when it comes to having medications sorted out or in my case my testosterone! Still I shall be collecting it today and will have it in my possession for Saturday which will be my third injection. 

I must commend the helpfulness of the people at my doctors surgery for being really quick and helpful. It’s so easy to moan about things but I think it’s important to give praise where it’s due as well.

I am excited as to what this next cycle will bring me, changes wise as there is definitely something starting with the T that is churning around in my system. I’m feeling more and more male that I am the person I have felt myself to be.

All that is left now is for this to continue, I want my voice to break and more facial hair to grow and my breasts to be gone.

In January after my legal birthday I shall start doing my application for my GRC. That way all my legal side of things will be concluded. I’m also planning on starting an intense training regime that will be complimentary to having surgery later on in the year and will help me sculpt some of my chest pre-surgery.

Things in me are starting to settle yet I know I have more hormonal waves to ride. Yet life will always be something subject to a series of changes.

If anything we all are in a state of transition in one way, shape or form. Someone could have a new job, a baby, new house or just learning something new and altering their old life.

We only get one life, so I don’t see the point in living it whereby one is miserable or not doing what they actually want to do (within reason). I also feel a sense of relief that I have done things that are true to my heart and who I am rather than feel trapped in a life that isn’t my own.

1 comment:

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