Monday, 14 February 2011

It's all happening...

Since I last wrote this I am waiting for my Deed Poll documents, and since then Charing Cross has written back asking if I want to have an appointment. I'm very impressed with the speed of it all but now I feel charged with adrenaline and god knows what else as it's all happening at once.

I'm also slightly unwell at the moment (physically). But saw the doc today, having a blood test on Wednesday and then after that they will find out and investigate a little more what is going on. For that reason, even though feeling unwell is unpleasant I feel at ease that I know whatever is wrong it will get sorted out.

I must say having such a nice, proactive and efficient doctor really takes the stress and annoyance out of everything. With anything I know that if it needs investigating he will do it, without there having to be a battle or tension emerging.

He is a really lovely doctor to have, and I feel very lucky to be getting his support. Also as I think I might have said before but it's so shocking to have a doctor that wants to be helpful...I am still getting used to this.

This week my mind is whirring between many things.  I received lovely cards from E today which was lovely.  I have chosen something for her which I think is more than suitable and not marked so much with the spirit of hallmark but has something appropriate for both of our somewhat random and twisted senses of humour.

Also going away at the weekend which I am really excited about. I can't wait to explore but in the meantime I have quite a bit of work to plough through, body to get better and a whole load of other things.

As long as my brain applies itself and I forge ahead that is all I want.  I should receive my name change documents this week so once I get them and sign them it will be a big change starting.  I shall make a note of the date it all changes but then I think at some point in March or even April will plan a small party to mark this as I want to celebrate with people that are special to me and in lieu of not seeing some people over my Birthday I think a new day can be created.  Or might just wait until September when I am 2.

It sounds a bit strange being 27 and 2 all at the same time.  Trust me it's a pain in the arse sometimes when you find yourself having a tantrum over a salad, but this is what happens.

It's all about taking things as they come and doing what feels right.

This is one thing I am glad I have done throughout my transition. I am definitely ready to gear up a notch or two. Love and happiness from within depend on some of this in the sense that I need to put the work in now not just with myself but with my life.  Otherwise I know I will be sat on the floor and will feel stuck. I need to hyperbole my life a little bit more in order to move things along, make them happen.

I want to have a new passport by the end of Summer.  For that I need to step things up now.  I also have to bite the bullet, change everything officially because I know in my heart of hearts that this is the right path for me.

I can't work for a company that promotes people being themselves  and expressing themselves and being a fence sitter (in my own eyes). 

There is no doubt anymore or even a feeling that I should wait any longer.  The time is now.

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